But what happens when the way forward isn't clear anymore? One evening, as you prepare for bed, you might realize you've felt a growing sense of unease all day - when you awaken in the morning the feeling has grown into a full-blown sense of dissatisfaction – frustration – discontent. You can’t say why the feeling is there, but there’s no escaping it.
As a psychotherapist, I often observe that a client senses when change is happening long before it manifests in their lives. They might say “something doesn’t feel right” or “I’ve been in a funk all week, but I don’t know why.” It’s as if they are moving towards something (or away from it), but they cannot name what it is. They only know that as they plug along with life as usual, something else, something important, is happening.
How to juggle life now, with life that is 'becoming.'
The word liminal refers to in-between stages of change: we’re no longer where we were, but not yet where we will end up. When we're betwixt and between, there are no more guideposts to show the way, only a conscious awareness that something is different. Human development is full of liminality: childhood; teenage years, and adulthood all have distinct periods of growth that are easily recognized (an oppositional two-year-old suddenly becomes a cooperative, inquisitive four-year-old; midlife crisis, menopause, empty nest! retirement!) yet difficult to pin down when, exactly, these changes begin and when they end.
Psychotherapy can help you imagine how to live with the in-between; by recognizing the “I’m here/not-yet-there” of liminality, you offer yourself the gift of your own authenticity. Instead of resisting, you have the opportunity to update and redesign the choices you make, and the voice you’re developing, to align with who you are becoming.
Book an online appointment today for Life Transition with Diana J Bowen.