When a person loses something or someone valuable to them, feelings of grief can be overwhelming. Grief can leave a person feeling sad, hopeless, isolated, irritable, and numb by affecting them mentally, emotionally, and physically. It’s helpful to remember that healing from grief is a process, and everyone copes with grief in unique and different ways.
Do past losses impact current loss?
It can be a shock to realize, not only are we struggling with a present loss, we are also affected by past losses that perhaps went unrecognized. Part of the challenge of loss is in realizing how dramatically it can change our life.
For instance, if we didn't experience the love we needed, or we experienced neglect at various times during life, these experiences might reappear as we grieve the passing of something or someone important to us. The return of these memories are sometimes called our “shadow,” or aspects of self that continue to believe they aren’t deserving of love. Yet through loss (whether past or current), we have the opportunity to face the pain and heal those most vulnerable wounds.
Many people don’t know what to say or do when a person is grieving. Be sure to have patience with the individual (including yourself) throughout the entire process.
How can psychotherapy help a person experiencing loss? You can learn to:
- Learn to recognize what it means to acknowledge sorrow from losing a loved one, or a treasured part of life, and honor your grief as you move toward healing
- Reduce feelings of blame or guilt
- Explore and heal rejected parts of yourself that arise (often in response to loss) and are also in need of regeneration and care
- Reflect on feelings of loss, trauma, and emotional pain for unfulfilled wishes, or dreams from another time. These feelings of loss can reflect events from our own experience, or those of our ancestors (for example, our parents or grand-parents; cultural loss, times of war) we might have forgotten.